*Some “pies” ain’t for eating…


Baking industry decries Milk Producers’ appropriation of the word “pie.”

United Bakers Association says diary industry’s intent is to confuse and deceive consumers. Will introduce legislation to “clear the air.”

For Immediate Release (Washington, DC) — The United Bakers Association today released proposed legislation to have the federal government define the word “pie” and to prevent the production, marketing and sale of certain “pies” long associated with the dairy industry.

“We are talking, of course, about the egregious use of one of the chief by-products of milk production, the ‘cow pie,’” said Lawrence Smidlap of the United Bakers.  “Clearly they are trying to piggyback on the positive and long-held use of the word ‘pie’ by the baking industry.”

[note:  the use of the word “piggyback” in this context has received prior authorization from the Pork Producers Association].

The so-called “cow pie” has been used repeatedly by the dairy industry, despite the fact that consumers are in constant danger of buying and consuming a cow pie in the belief it is an actual pie, made in an actual kitchen.

“This is certainly not in keeping with the official government standard of identity for pie,” says Ernest T. Honkersmith, highly-paid lobbyist for The Don’t Have a Cow Coalition, a think tank dedicated to the eradication of confusing and unseemly terminology contrived to gain financial advantage over competitors.

According to the Bakers group, “If the dairy industry wants to serve up a dung-based dessert to go with a nice cold glass of milk, they are free to do so.  We’ve put up with meat pies, cream pies, and pizza pies, but we’re drawing a line in the pasture with the dairy industry over the use of ‘cow pie.’”

Smidlap released the draft legislation (below) known as “The Preventing Inedible Epicurean Substitutes and Food Euphemisms” Act or, the PIE SAFE Act.

Major provisions of the legislation are highlighted.


For more information visit www.UdderStupidity.com.


Pie Safe #1Pie safe #2Pie Safe #3

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