* Everybody gets a Trophy!

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Way back over a year ago (March 18, 2018 to be exact), we here at Udderstupidity “outed” Jim Mulhern and the NMPF for trying to claim victory on the Dairy Pride Act, when in actuality it was nothing more than a rather pathetic attempt to put a favorable spin on their failed attempt to get their definition of the world “milk” written into legislation.   After spending millions of dollars in staff and lobbying expenses, all Mulhern could claim was so-called “report language” in the final bill. Report language is a way of trying to put a public band-aid on the open, bleeding wound of a failed legislative attempt. Back then we called it “Booby Prize.”

(You can see our previous post here: And what do we have for our departing guests, Johnny?)

We are sad (happy?) to report here it is another year and Mulhern & Co. have not learned one damned thing. This time the Dairy folks were able to get some innocuous language into the Draft House Ag Approps Subcommittee Report to accompany the 2020 subcommittee bill:

Dairy Standard of Identity.—The Committee is pleased that the FDA has begun a deliberative process to review how it will enforce the standards of identity for dairy products. The Committee continues to hear concerns with the labeling of certain foods and beverages as dairy products when the products are plant-based rather than derived from an animal. As such, the Committee urges the FDA to continue its work toward ultimately enforcing standards of identity for dairy products.

So what does this flowery language mean to Big Dairy and its attempt to rig the consumer market by preventing other products from using the word “milk” in their marketing, not to mention influencing the FDA?

Short answer: It doesn’t mean Jack crap.

Not content to just putting his 2018 Booby Prize on his “I love me wall,” Mulhern wants to had the political and legislative equivalent of a participation ribbon. And we are sure the fine folks at the FDA stopped everything they were doing when they got this language and declared: “Our work is done here.” Of course, that’s if one assumes they were able to pick themselves up off the floor after collapsing in hysterical laughter.

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Hell, Jimbo, it looks like you’re not even trying anymore. But here is a nice ribbon for at least showing up.

It’ll look great on your wall.

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