Applauding the decision by China to block all purchases of soybeans from the United States, Jim Mulhern of the National Milk Producers said: “It’s about damn time somebody put those soybean people in their place. And who better to do it than the People’s Republic.” Asked about the current unrest in Hong Kong Mulhern said the protesters better be careful or the Chinese government “would crush them like a handful of almonds.”
Mulhern, obviously frustrated by the U.S. Government’s repeated rejection of his calls to give the dairy industry competitive advantage over soy milk and almond milk by redefining the word “milk,” said that he and the NMPF were gratified at least one government official – albeit it a Chinese Communist official – has finally listened. “I believe we have found a good replacement for that wimp Gottleib at the F.D.A. – and his name is “Xi,” he declared.
“The brave actions by the Chinese government has given us the will to continue and we will take our fight to the states, trying to use government as a weapon to cripple our enemies in the plant-based foods industry,” said Mulhern. “All hail the proletariat! And by that I mean the dairy industry.”
Mulhern and the NMPF were already licking their wounds by trying to take their fight out of Washington and into the states, only to recently be rejected once again by the legislatures in Arizona and New Mexico.
“Our next target is Georgia.” When asked if he meant the state or the country, Mulhern replied:
“There’s a difference?”