If you can’t beat ‘em – Steal from ‘em.

Blended milk

In what has to be an astonishingly graphic “surrender flag” the Dairy Farmers of America (DFA) have apparently decided to “throw in the cow” and start producing what they call “Blended Milk.”

We know that many of our loyal readers (F.D.A. we are looking in your direction when we say that) are asking yourselves: “What the hell?”

Well worry not. We here at UdderStupidity will assist you – as we have for the last couple of years – in understanding what this is all about.

First, what exactly is “blended milk”? Essentially it is lactose-free milk with some almonds thrown in so you can stake a toe-hold in the plant-based foods industry. Just one problem with that: The largest dairy co-op in the country (DFA) and the miscreants at the National Milk Producers Federation have spent the last three years and untold millions in lobbying fees and salaries trying to convince Congress, then the FDA, and now the states in an attempt to define the word “milk” so as to hobble the plant-based food folks.

But with the new DFA “Live Real Dairy” marketing ploy, they have completely reversed course. Instead of trying to outlaw the phrase “almond milk,” they are now actually putting the phrase they sought to ban RIGHT ON THE FREAKIN’ LABEL of their newest product:

Blended milk edit 1

We feel certain the politicians and FDA officials who were heavily lobbied by the dairy industry are now asking:

“Hypocrite much, fellas?  Isn’t this exactly what you wanted us to ban?”

Reports are also starting to emerge that the actually dairy farmers are less than amused with the DFA’s efforts, with some reports claiming over 80% of the dairy farmers believe the DFA shouldn’t be in the plant-based foods business at all.  They have shoveled enough manure to know the individual farmer will come out on the short end of that teat.

The predicted fight in the dozen or so state capitols this coming year should be fascinating. We’ll see how well the dairy lobbyists do with the local yokels when they are caught talking out of both sides of their mouth.

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